But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
