it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
