There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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