The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
