I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
