just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
my poor anus
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
