Im at strip club and am horny
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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