i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
