I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
