I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
