He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
