1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
