God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
