I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my shit smells like andre
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
