guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
