omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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