we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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