we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Success! We fucked roommates!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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