operation harelip BJ is a go
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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