it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
