All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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