So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
