I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
