I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
