i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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