i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
