He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
