I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
