just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
