So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize