Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
