Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
