If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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