my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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