Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
