their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
