My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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