Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
