My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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