I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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