and i looked up. we had an audience...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
