rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
