she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
