it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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