So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
