return my video game
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
