he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
