Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
They took my balls.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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