Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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