You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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