I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
