The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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