i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
