your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
